10 things I wish I knew earlier about friendships

In all honesty, 2022 has given me more perspective about life than ever before — mostly on self-discovery, relationships, having less, and doing more. It’s funny how no one ever mentioned to us that making friends as an adult would be challenging and that each friendship you make on your life path will either inspire you, hurt you or teach you in some way.

I am constantly learning that if you invest in your friendships and treat them with intention, they can be so life-giving. So here are the top 10 things I wish I knew earlier about friendships before I learned them in both the hard and easy way.

1. There is love in friendship. One day, you will experience pure, undiluted, genuine love among your friends and that would leave you wondering “how did I get so lucky?”. Embrace it. Accept it. Revel in it and keep such people close to your heart.

2. Some friendships are seasonal, but some aren’t. When you don’t handle your friends with care, you lose them. Stop blaming seasons for your messiness.

3. As you grow older, making friends gets harder. However, it’s ok to shoot your shot in friendship too especially if that person’s values or personality aligns with yours.

4. Friendship is more love and understanding, and less judgment and condemnation. Humans are generally flawed, and your friends have their shortcomings. In those moments, show love and concern, and save your judgment for later. If you must correct, correct with love.

5. Always remember quality over quantity. It’s better to have a small circle that loves and supports you genuinely than millions of wolves in sheep’s clothing.

6. Friendships end. It’s okay to outgrow people, places, and things. That’s because you evolve, other people evolve, and we either evolve together or apart and that’s okay. Regardless, learn to be gracious when burning that bridge.

7. Value the people who show up for you consistently and are not afraid to tell you the truth. These people are truly gold.

8. Take time to enjoy all the little moments you spend with your friends. Before you know it, you’ll be older, married, busy with your family, or even relocated elsewhere. Life can be unpredictable.

9. Never ditch your friends when you start a new relationship. Make time for both. You’ll be needing them every step of the way.

10. It’s unrealistic to think we can keep in touch with every single friend we’ve ever had. When you can, reach out to them but never mistake their silence for ego.

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