“Hi Dear” and other words to ban from your vocabulary in 2023

The morning of the new year, I woke up, rolled over, saw the sun peeking through the curtains, everything soft, everything calm, and I said to myself, ‘Abimbola, in 2023, I chose violence!”

Not Keanu Reeves swerving slow-motion bullets in the Matrix kind of violence.

Oh please, I can’t even swing my arm or throw a fist to save my life.

Don’t dare me though, I strongly believe in my past life, I was Uma Therman taking an entire cohort of suited enemies in Kill Bill.

My decision to be violent stems from the need to put myself first, be unapologetically selfish, be assertive of my boundaries, and be completely honest with how I feel about everyone and everything without the fear of thinking “how will he or she feel”. Some might argue that I already do this, but let’s just say I am taking it a notch higher. In the incomparable Tems’ words “New year, real me”. And what better way to start this than by changing my vocabulary?

Words are powerful, sprinkle in a few and you can transform a conversation that compels someone to take a desired action. In my case, these are words I don’t think should be in anyone’s vocabulary. I put together a list of words and phrases that I use to a fault but going forward, let us ban these words because ko le werk in 2023. I don’t want to hear them.

“Hi dear”

My apologies to those who aren’t familiar with this Yoruba actor, but this is a picture that you can hear and that’s what I think about when someone says “Hi dear”. It’s even worse when someone enters your DM with “Hi dear” and leaves it at that. 1, who is your dear? 2, why is it hard to follow up your pleasantries with what you want? Don’t get me wrong, Dear, is a friendly word but we have abused it so much it has lost all meaning. I rather you address me with my name than say dear.

P.S. I am guilty of this too but we moveee.

“I’m fine”

Nothing kills a conversation faster than this. I get it, sometimes when asked the question — how are you? you are not fine, however, you know the person at the end of the conversation can’t really help you, so why talk?

I get it, dear reader. I do it too.

Hear me out, how about you find creative ways to say this instead? Huh? Like “I can still feel a pulse, so I’m good” “never been better” or the best — giving a rundown of how you feel. I believe we should work on being great conversationalists this year.

“You have added weight, or you still haven’t added weight”

Let’s get this straight guys, a woman’s body, a man’s body is not a comment section.

Some people say these words out of love and concern but really no one asked for your opinion, so keep it to yourself. Me wey get the body sabi how my body take look. No body shaming in 2023.

“I’ll try”

I strongly feel “I’ll try” is a nicer way of saying no.

It’s like sitting on the fence, intentionally setting yourself up to fail at a task without a fight. It’s giving “I can do this a 100% but I don’t want to, so I’ll disengage myself from committing to it and act like I gave it a 10%”. My point is don’t try at something. Give it your best shot or just say you won’t.

“NO”

You’d expect it to be the other way around. Everyone out there is telling you to practice the art of saying no all the time. But for someone like me who carelessly use the word no all the time, I want to delete it from my vocabulary and learn to say yes more. So, who knows, ask me to send you a million dollars, I just might say yes, the only problem is I dey look for that kain money too. So, holla at me if you know how I can get it.

“In Addy”

It’s giving trenches vibes because what is this!?

I believe we’ve gotten so comfortable with abbreviating everything that to write certain words feel like a herculean task. “in addy” and “K” are both in the same WhatsApp group. Don’t say that this year. It doesn’t fit your aesthetic.

Oh also, those people that say “happy birthday to my blood” jeez, have you seen actual blood before? A thick red pool of blood? Why would you liken anyone to that? We have names and pet names for a reason. Stop this behavior.

“I don’t know”

It’s completely fine to not know things but in this internet age, you’re not excused except the question is what do you want to do with your life? Even I don’t know.

I have quite a number of intelligent friends and when they don’t know something, instead of saying I don’t know, they get curious, google it and find out how to do it. That’s a boss move right there. Stop looking clueless and google it right away.

There are a lot of words I can think of to ban right now and that’s why you should never think of voting me for president in the nearest future. And speaking of the president, hope you have your PVC, affliction must not rise the second time.

What words would you like to ban from your vocabulary? Share them with me.

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