Unspoken Rules of Dating in Abuja

Everyone tells you that the dating pool in Lagos is muddy and scandalous.

I agree. You’ve got to love the drama and tea!

I hear phrases like ‘beware of Lagos girls’ ‘there is no husband in Lagos’, and ‘everyone is dating each other in Lagos’ but I hate to break it to you —

have you met a guy from my city? Hakuna Matata…hehe. Welcome to the Capital City guys!

While Abuja may seem steeped in religion and customs, it is not without its big pool of mess, especially when it comes to the dating scene. Abuja has a few unspoken rules in our everyday life that we somehow just know. However, if you are not aware of them or you would like a reminder, I’ve listed five unspoken rules to get you started:

1. Not all that glitters is Gold

Abuja is a beautiful city that leaves a dazzling first impression on first-timers, and so do her people. There is just this inexplicable je ne sais quoi factor that makes you like the city and its people. It’s somehow charming, alluring, and fascinating all at once. I love everything about it.

From its rich history to the lush green spaces, and architecture, to the incredible variety of restaurants to the posh cars, and boulevards of trees, to the sophisticated and beautiful men and women, to the charming accents, there is something for everyone here and so it’s easy to get carried away by the beauty.

Careful though, most people keep their private life and skeletons far away from the public view, so it’s hard to tell who is who. The fine neatly dressed man driving the Prado that took you on a fancy date could be waiting to use you as a ticket for accommodation due to the high cost of rent. Everyone has an agenda here. The babe claiming to have a house in Maitama could be squatting with 5 friends in Apo. Your perfect boyfriend could be married with 3 kids in the UK.

Appearances can be deceiving.

2. Love happens in communities

If you are looking to fall in love, the simplest way to meet new people when you arrive in Abuja is through the local communities. Numerous social groups cater to people with similar hobbies and interests. Join the gym, go to the stadium and join sports groups, join a hiking community, or Just belong to a community that you know your kind of person would be active in; so, you are likely to meet other singles with the same intention.

3. We are all recycling

Abuja is a big city but feels more like a cluster of small towns once you live here — everyone knows everyone. I like to think we are all recycling because there is always an entanglement gist lying somewhere.

Before you go in deep, do your background check to avoid getting entangled in the messy sheets of someone else’s lover. Unless you don’t mind being wife number two; which is in that case, you will thrive here.

4. The Gentleman wins here

Just like any other woman in the world, Abuja women love to be treated like a queen. She wants to be wined and dine, and don’t forget to pull out her chair and hold their door for her, and most importantly, the occasional bank credits. You must be a man they could proudly show off to their friends and family.

5. Everyone is outspoken, deal with it

In this city, men and women are direct and desperate about what they want. If an Abuja lady wants you, whether you are single or married, she is going to approach you directly and make her intentions known. No games. Your relationship status is of little or no significance here and if you are not careful, they might ask for your partner as an extra in the request.

Did I miss out on any unspoken rules? Add yours in the comment section below.

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